About three years ago, I blogged about a book I read called “Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World” by Joanna Weaver. A sister-friend of mine highly recommended it to me. My friend, I will call her “Mary” for the purpose of this piece. Like the biblical figure to this day she exhibits characteristics that mirror that of Mary; the ultimate worshipper desiring only to lie at the Master’s feet and serve him in excellence with a pure heart.

To tell you the truth I don’t know who outside of the Holy Spirit could have motivated my modern day Mary to recommend this particular book to me. It was such an on time read. Just 6 months earlier I had been released from my last full-time ministry position and I had begun serving only three months after that again in volunteer ministry leadership. I was looking for new fulltime employment, working on writing my first book “Poetry of a Black Girl Volume One: The Darkness and the Light” and had begun a renewed platonic WORD based friendship with my now fiancé. A lot was happening in my world.

Taking the time out to read the book and other similar titles was really beneficial to my personal and spiritual development.

After I was released I began the process of getting my focus back on track and rediscovering God’s purpose for my life. One of the first books I actually picked up and read thoroughly was Joyce Meyer’s “Approval Addiction”. Next was a series of titles by Dr. John C. Maxwell “The Winning Attitude”, “The Difference Maker” and “Being a People Person”. I also began to read over some of my favorite books of the Bible in different translations, Samuel 1 and 2, Kings 1, Kings 2, Ezra, Nehemiah, Esther, Job, Proverbs and 1 and 2 Corinthians. I rented Christian movies only from Netflix and dug deep in my personal message archives keeping on repeat messages on topics like Grace, Humility, Anger, gaining wisdom from God and dealing with emotions.

Looking back with hindsight I can honestly say at that particular time in my life, I felt as if I had something to prove; to myself, God and to all my haters. My haters were not actual people; they were feelings of failure, disappointment, shame and mistrust. Feelings I no longer wanted to have.

I was so hungry for the WORD. I was Martha reformed and what I desired more than anything was busying myself getting to know my Lord more.

© 2012 Lela Jefferson – http://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com